life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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