Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
