worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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