i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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