There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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