covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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