loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
