Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
