Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Are my feet made of real feet?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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