There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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