I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
