I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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