He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
