Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
