So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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