there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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