he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
