I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
