so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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