Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
and she was petting her beer can
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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