I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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