Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You dont lie about slip and slides
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
