Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
