I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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