honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize