Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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