the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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