Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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