So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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