I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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