ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
