Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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