oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
pray to the hookup gods
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