the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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