I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
