so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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