This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
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my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
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Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.