IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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