oh god the rape fog is back!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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