Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.

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  (647): Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream. http://tfl.nu/6zy9
  Replies (1) Good night (1099) Bad night (1414)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  It's like a parade of train wrecks.

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  (818): It's like a parade of train wrecks. http://tfl.nu/4fe9
  Replies (22) Good night (941) Bad night (1959)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often

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  (413): your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often http://tfl.nu/h345
  Replies (5) Good night (3245) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.

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  (720): I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time. http://tfl.nu/bucm
  Replies (5) Good night (3488) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.

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  (207): Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america. http://tfl.nu/yc3t
  Replies (7) Good night (2999) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.

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  (540): If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year. http://tfl.nu/169q
  Replies (9) Good night (2925) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.

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  (301): Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip. http://tfl.nu/7yby
  Replies (64) Good night (3145) Bad night (5367)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.

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  (954): in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume. http://tfl.nu/xcgb
  Replies (8) Good night (3521) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.

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  (403): oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker. http://tfl.nu/xtlj
  Replies (9) Good night (1904) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Do you believe in miracles?

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  (224): Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker (847): Do you believe in miracles? http://tfl.nu/9830
  Replies (5) Good night (1392) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers

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  (484): I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers http://tfl.nu/srrb
  Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.

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  (310): I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me. http://tfl.nu/btwi
  Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.

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  (506): I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success. http://tfl.nu/n6ta
  Replies (3) Good night (615) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"

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  (814): He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe. (814): All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins" http://tfl.nu/wnoe
  Replies (1) Good night (815) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair

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  (702): Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair http://tfl.nu/ilwv
  Replies (0) Good night (565) Bad night (298)

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