is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
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I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.