The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i think my tv is drunk
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize