Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
