Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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