Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
