Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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