I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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