i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
so much tequila, so little girl.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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