if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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