apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize