did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
