I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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