Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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