The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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