If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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