i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
