just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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