I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
