One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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