I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
