I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize