You can't special order awesome
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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