I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
