im drinking this country out of the recession.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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