I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
